Morning Pages | 20 December 2024
I find myself pondering why I keep getting in my own way and how on earth I'm ever going to achieve my goals. I got a five-year Hobonichi diary in 2019 and I'd written my goal for the end of it—in 11 days' time—to be making a living online. To be fair, I've tried many different ideas over that time and am still going, so that's something, but as far as making a living goes? Pffft.
So, Mindset. That's what I need to be thinking about every day. Maybe I should read Carol Dweck's book with that title one more time. Or is reading self-help books just part of my whole procrastination thing? Maybe.
Meaning through art and creativity. That has a nice ring to it. How do I do that? Maybe I already am with the book channel. The more literature I read, the more convinced I become that that's where the meaning of life is. And then there's creativity. Rick Ruben's book—The Creative Act: A Way of Being—taught me that creativity is more than just creating art. What I do in these pages is creative—I generally feel better afterwards and I really enjoy the process of writing with a nice fountain pen.
To be making any money from my creativity, I have to provide something that people want. That's going to be the focus of my annual review this year. How do I allow myself to grow through literature and reading more broadly while providing something that people want? Where does my expertise lie? Well, Russian literature. I just need to get out of my own way and stop with the self-sabotage and depressive spirals. Easy to say, right? But I know there's an audience out there for literature. The book groups that I join are all popular to varying degrees, and I've been around enough of them to know how to do it well—as if I didn't already know. A big part of it is not to set a schedule and then consistently ignore it because of Fear and Resistance and Procrastination. That's just dumb.
Anyone fancy reading The Master and Margarita when I'm done with Crime and Punishment? That would be my first choice because it's a firm favourite and I have a nice Penguin Deluxe edition that I've not read!
