The Sound of Birdsong

I was writing in my DayOne journal and felt a strong urge to sit on the sofa and mediate for 10 minutes. This isn't something that happens to me, so I decided to pay attention to the urge and indulge it. It came from the sound of the birdsong. I have the window open, even though it's still very cold outside. That birdsong sound is my way in. This is something I'm going to explore more.

It started out well, the day I mean. I got up before my alarm. I set it for 7 a.m., this time on my iPhone because the Fitbit vibrate just isn't working for me any more; I just tap it off and go back to sleep. I think that the act of setting it on my iPhone programmed my brain to wake up, so it was 06:45 when I awoke and I was able to turn off that alarm before it went off. Although I sleep with foam earplugs in and I wonder whether I'll even hear the alarm.

I set the intention of rising at 07:00 for seven days a week ago and I managed four days. The idea is to walk the dogs between 7 and 8 and do it without AirPods in. I want to start reconnecting with my thoughts because I know I should. It's hard though; I feel my attention's being pulled towards that podcast playlist or the audiobook, because I have reading goals and podcasts to listen to dammit. I know that those goals are fake though, or, rather, they're arbitrary. I don't need to read six books in Q1, right? And besides, I'm finding that an audiobook's value isn't sinking in properly because I'm more focussed on getting through it than actually learning something from it. And that's just silly, right?

I want to be more chilled, more present. For example, I got frustrated there because I was in mid flow and Poppy the Akita pawed at the front door to be let in. I got frustrated when Frosted the Bengal cat started pawing to get into a cardboard box. I want not to get frustrated at these things. How does one find that state? I think that practising mediation will be a good starting place.

So remember Cams, the birdsong is your way in.