I had a fantastic conversation with two friends on Saturday about the tweaks that I might make to my YouTube channel. It's something I need to think out loud on, and since I want to start writing more, I'm gonna procrastinate from my weekly review by firing up a writing sesh. #gettingthingsdone
This is the danger. Overthinking can paralyse me. So let's take a look at this. What is my WHY? What makes me happy to jump out of bed in the morning? And what would I like to see have happened this time next year?
I love making content. I enjoy writing. Most of all I love camera gear and recording. I buzz from recording extemporaneously as it's a discovery exercise that I feel moves me forward in my thought processes in a way that nothing else can. That's probably why I've been recording my podcast Quoth the Camser for such a while.
Photography is fun. I feel inspired by the work of others and that makes me want to do it myself. Especially street. I tell myself that I'm not here, I'm drowning in a liquid fear, but I can get into the streets of Arran. It's a little too scary though. In Glasgow I can duck and weave and get that thrill of pushing into the fear of getting seen by my subject. On the empty streets of Arran it's a little too scary. But I would still like to make time to practice.
And the guitar, yes, the guitar! I love playing music. It tends to get short shrift though. I thought I was winning with my life hack of scheduling livestreamed practice sessions but I have missed 3 in a row now. What's up with that? That's something to fix in my weekly review.
This is a new discovery for me. This feels like a Very Big Why. Coaching others gives me an energy the like of which I've never experienced before. It's not the kind of energy that lasts only for the duration of the coaching and then disappears to leave me slumped on my desk like I've just lost a force battle to Darth Vader. No, this is an energy that stays, that casts light on my inner demons and makes them depart. This is something, a Very Big Something.
What would I like to see have happened in a year's time?
I'd like to be telling stories in the style of Mike Kilcoyne, like this one.
I would like to have written at least a first draft of my book.
I would like to be financially safe by having coaching clients on my books. This will not only have improved my mental health immeasurably through the energising effect of doing something that I love that actually helps others, but it will also remove a shit ton of the guilt I'm carrying around because of being 100% financially supported by my amazing wife while she does a job that she hates.
Which way to lean?
So so I lean into what I'm good at, which is hitting record and riffing when inspiration strikes? Or do I slow down and start planning and scripting?
And on that, in both cases – riffing or scripting - I should have a clear picture in my mind of whom my content is for, my Medic Mo, my target avatar.
The first one means that I get to continue with my weekly publishing cadence and hopefully my slow and steady growth continues.
The second one means that I start to feel paralysis ... ah, but let me stop you right there Cams. That sounds like some of that old fixed mindset right there. You say it, it becomes real.
How about this:
- Make a riffing video talking about who my target audience might be and see whether something reveals itself. Publish it, and move on to 2.
- Storyboarding, scripting, b-roll planning, voice over, safe in the knowledge of knowing that 1 is taken care of - the weekly publishing cadence is a win and now it's time to grow into becoming the storyteller and filmmaker that would make you me excited and happy.
I think that the building in public idea is one that will keep me going when fear starts to cripple me. I need to own my channel and not feel that every piece of advice from friends is something that I have to do.
But there needs to be some more high brow content that challenges me and makes me feel some pride in the creation. Riffing into the camera helps me to clear the decks and reach conclusions, but if I don't then act by pushing myself creatively, I'm going to have to keep clearing the messy decks again and again and never really find that creative space that challenges me and makes me content with my content. Content contentment. Ha!