I wonder if I can write my way out of this feeling of impending doom?
It's difficult to describe. Anyone who has dealt with diagnosed depression can possibly relate. It's like a weight, or a blanket of fog, or having spiders webs all over you.
I am a self-professed content creator. Making content energises me, particularly being on camera.
Walking the dogs is another thing I enjoy, particularly when I combine it with a really good audiobook. I just so happen to be really enjoying Leviathan Wakes right now and am itching to get through the last two hours so I can start the second book. It's sunny. I don't have any Zoom calls pending.
But am I hitting record?
Am I putting on my shoes and getting my AirPods in to step out into the sunshine?
No. I'm removing myself from Facebook groups that I no longer vibe with. I don't know why I'm not doing the other things. And this is the problem.
So, I'm trying to write my way out of it. Writing is creative, right? I really enjoy writing and want to do it more, so I've opened up a new post and am putting my thoughts down here to see it helps me to break that inertia and move away from meaningless avoidance tasks that don't even deserve to be called tasks.
I've been off SSRI medication since this time last year. In fact I remember making videos about that as the side effects were pretty bad - it was Citalopram I was taking and the worst withdrawal side effect was dizziness. It's nice to free of it and to feel like I have enough gas in the tank to get me off my arse and into something that makes me feel better. But sometimes that gas needs a proper spark, so that's what this post is: a spark to get me out the door and into the sunshine to walk in some of the most beautiful scenery in the world that mainlanders aren't getting a chance to see today if Twitter is anything to go by.
Screw the audiobook, I persuaded Dochka to come with me!
It was a lovely walk down Cordon, a real moment to treasure. Home for some coffee. And speaking of coffee, if you feel like buying me a cup, I won't stop you! Click the link below and I'll enjoy a coffee on you with thanks!